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The Colbert Report/Episode/566
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro SEGMENT1 * we are all as fresh as daisies * he ahs been a strong supporter of Wikipedia since 1994 ** and original base player for the grateful Dead * listed Tom Cruise as 5'10" * Arbitration Commitee ** their robes are bathrobes ** they do this until they get a life * the worst tragedy since the volcano incident SEGMENT2 * skimpy clothes and bare flesh ** make Stephen think of abstinence only education * Obama cuts funding for it ** only give money if you screw people * dangerous ** National Abstinence Education Association * it is known for its breadth ** don't have sex ** have sex don't * Tonight's word: Just Don't Do It * teenage programs rigorous investigation ** new spokesperson, Bristol Palin *** imagine how many babies she would have had if she wasn't abstinent * Obama will remove a proven moral high ground * a few short months left to scare America's youth not to have sex * Aspire ** warns teens if they choose sex instead of windsurfing * warn them spontaneous genital combustion * secks ** if you do it ... * sperm came come back up and impregnating a boy with a baby in his nutsack * when it comes to finding real world alternatives to abstinence education, tell the kids: Just Don't Do It SEGMENT3 * Paul Simon declared he's still crazy for all these years ** he'll beg for anti-psychotics when he sees The Craziest Fucking Thing I've Ever Heard * doctor at a Toronto hospital is able to keep human lungs outside the body * will increase office productivity * looks like two sweaty armadillos doing it * or aerial views of Alan Greenspan * Stephen can handle ** tree lungs ** aqua lungs ** even k. d. lungs ** but external lungs? that's The Craziest Fucking Thing I've Ever Heard Interview * Dag Soderberg ** book: Bible Illuminated:The Book * has published a new illustrated version of the Bible allowing Stephen to see what begetting looks like * he's Swedish ** wilcommen(sp) * turned the New Testament into a glossy magazine ** like Cosmo or Glamour * the Bible tells us to reject sexy, worldly sex-based * the Bible is the most referenced, least read book * Why is Muhammed Ali in the Bible? ** Swedish kids were asked who has done something good for the world * includes ** Princess Di ** Angelina Jolie ** and Bono * is idolatry * it is Stephen's style to appear to be attack his guests * it is commercializing the Bible * brought a business model to the Bible ** not discussion * any product placement? ** includes a bottle of Coca-Cola * Sierra Mist might play a bit ** Jesus could hold an iPhone * it matters if he is a Christian * men don't go to hairdressers, they go to barbers for their Bible talk * Amazon.com is mentioned in the book of Matthew Epilogue * David Byrne's band performed a new song, "One Fine Day" Gallery File: File: File: File: File: File: File: File: File: File: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments